Archive | February 2012

*It’s a numbers thing*

It’s a numbers thing

I have numbers coming out of my ears.  Just call me ‘number mom!’  If you need a number, I probably have 3!  Life is a bunch of numbers to me; I see it in everything, perhaps because we live off numbers, perhaps because it is numbers I have to pay attention to.

6.4, Kinzie’s last A1c, 55 our last BG. Numbers 3, 9, 2, 11…ages of my kids.  Number 2 and 9 my age put together.  4, how many children I have.  36, the amount of carbs consumed by Kinzie tonight.  1-unit left on board before bed.  80-120 our BG goal range.  9, 12, 2, 4, 6….when I got up to check Kinzie last night due to nasty BG that wouldn’t correct. 1,000 times I yawned today.  2 bathroom breaks I got. 6 times we checked for ketones. 0.8 was our ketones from such a nasty night. 1 more absence.

100 dollars for one small vial of insulin, 3 vials we use monthly.  4 boxes cartridges at 700+ dollars apiece and 4 boxes of infusion sets at 300+ dollars a month, then add 300 + test strips 100 bucks a bottle multiplied by 4 per month.  Then add 1 box swabs, 4 (give or take depending on illness) boxes ketone strips 175 dollars each.  4 Glucagon kits we own. $100 per kit.  1 box lancets too. 30+ juice boxes drank this month to help correct low.   How many times do we get paid this month?

3 times I have been to the pharmacy this month.  3 times I talked to pharmacist this month. 1 partial fill on a prescription this month. 3 days we have to wait to get rest.  4 (yes, sadly) showers I had last week. 10 loads of laundry weekly.  1 pump replacement on it’s way.  17 diapers changed today.  2 babies had baths.  1 dog shedding like crazy, million hairs all around. 2 times I swept the floors, 10 times they were messy by the end of the day.  72 the thermostat is set at. 30 times I have shared my blog, video, fundraising in just 2 days.  2350 amount raised so far.  16,000 more to go. 30 times I was in tears by everyone’s thoughtfulness. 40 times per day I worry about Kinzie’s BG. 40 times a day I am sad my focus has to shift.

1 in 10; chance of my other non-diabetic children getting type 1 by age of 50.  7…days of the week, 24 hours in the day. 24/7 amount of hours I spend as a type 1 diabetic mother, 24/7 number of hours/days I pray for a cure.  24, number of hours a day I pray Kinzie is safe.  24 hours a day I pray my other children stay healthy.  Sometimes I feel like I need more hours than what is allotted.  09-22-10 Date my life forever changed.  6-8 months we wait to welcome a diabetic alert dog to our family, what a blessing, can’t wait to breathe!  100+ number of people who love my daughter and are supporting our cause.  1:7 our insulin to carb ratio at supper. 5:30 time we need to eat in order to let insulin on board reach 0 so Kinzie can get to bed on time. 5:30 time husband comes home from work.  4 times a week Kinzie dances. 1 time a week Jared goes to hip-hop and scouts.  3rd grade, for Jared. 5th grade for Kinzie.  3540 the school nurse’s number. 10,100 times I have watched an episode of Strawberry Shortcake, perhaps in one week.

2 number of times we downloaded pump information since Sunday, 4 number of times I looked at her graphs, trends and settings. 2 adjustments I had to make. 8:00 time babies go to bed. 2 weeks since Jared had his surgery.  8 weeks until we go to his follow-up. Then go back 3 weeks after for Kinzie’s endo apptointment. 2 ½ hours the drive to the specialist.  Every 3 months we go.  ½ c per serving of cereal.  3 strawberries Chloe smashed on the floor. 30 times I have to remember to breathe when doing homework for Jared (frustration and focus hits him hard during those times).  30 times I am reminded what a blessing he is. 6 oz per bottle for Mason.  2-3 days between infusion changes.  16 strips we went through today thus far.  170 BG before bed. 12-time I set my alarm to get up for first night check.  Until I die, the number of nights we will wake up for checks.  2 number of hours Mason left.  7 times Chloe put a crown on my head and told me I was a princess today. 6 laughs from Mason.

4-11-85 hubbs and my birthdates mixed…because frankly, my numbers start to jumble at the end of the day.

Until I die, number of days Kinzie will have Diabetes.  Until I die, number of days I will fight for my kids and love my kids.  Until I die, number of times I will be an advocate for Diabetes. 1 billion the times you will hear the word ‘diabetes’ out of my mouth.  1 billion times I will not apologize for talking about Diabetes.  Forever the number of days I will have my family.  Forever the number of days I can look forward to. Countless numbers of times today my children made me feel amazing.

1 more night to get through. 1 more prayer answered. 1 happy family.  1 more moment together. 1 more memory made.  1 more day closer to a cure. 1 more day I am thankful for. 1 God I give credit to for my blessings.

Advertisements

Accessorizing

Accessorize…it is all the rage

From the title of this post, I bet you are thinking handbags, shoes, hair, jewelry, diamonds, and clothes…let your imagination take you there.  Can you just picture it?  Wait, backup, stop! In this post I am talking about pumps…and do not mean heels.  I am talking about accessorizing the ‘provider of life’ our ever so loved insulin pump…Animas One Touch Ping.

provider of life...i *heart* pump

Is it possible to claim to be best friends with such a thing? Or adore it as if it were part of the family? If not, I may need some therapy after my post! 😉  Because it is very much a cherished thing in our family…even has its own insurance policy. Size of a pager, with a tube attached to Kinzie it is continuously hooked on her 24/7…keeping her body in tip top shape (or as much as one thing could without going to pancreas school or having a brain).

It is programmed to give Kinzie her insulin based on settings that we set to match her specific needs (and those needs change pretty much daily). It alarms and beeps, tweets and chirps to let us know its stance.  We love its quirks and ‘quips, but what we love most is how it does its duty.  It encases what we deem ‘liquid of life’ more precious than that gold…insulin. I think it is quite clear the love I have for this tiny little machine.  So let’s dive deep into the meat of options that she comes with…

We have color selections of nearly any desire, ours just happens to be in pink.  Silicone skins to protect her dearly, encasing her with our love. Kinzie has one in purple.  Infusion sets, with choices once more, is it a pink, green, blue or grey day?  We change them quite frequently at least every 3 days.  She has a pack to hold her Ping so dear, attaching to the waist, one with a hook (a clip of sorts) to clip onto her belt.  So when you are hooked to a machine daily, you will appreciate your ‘accessories’ much more.  A girl needs choices, right?

Hold me prisoner no longer

I wrote a letter to diabetes. I have let it hold me prisoner for too long.  One of my biggest fears is it wreaking havoc on more of my children, (friends and family too).  If one child has T1D, the risk for the siblings to be diagnosed by age of 50 is 1 in 10.  I anticipate it every minute, someone peeing more than normal or drinking all day long…smelling extra fruity. I monitor expecting to find my biggest nightmare.  I can think and think and worry some more…but the reality is I cannot stop this from happening.

I know this road all too well, and know what surprises are in store.  So what diabetes can do to me shouldn’t hold me prisoner every day.  I can’t exert my energy in portals that are only possibilities. I can only imagine what other T1D parents fear; because I know what we experience is the same. What more can it do? it has already changed our life and we can’t look back at what use to be.  So today I try to let go of the things I cannot change or prevent. What I can do is remain ever-watching and vigilant. What I can do is keep fighting.

To Diabetes:

You can hold me prisoner no more; I cannot allow you to. I am already prisoner to your needs, your actions, and deeds but will not be held prisoner from your scare tactics. You have taken enough from me, and from us. I cannot surrender the rest that I have; for fear that I could not go on.

I find myself on edge, looking and watching.  Being the detective I never wanted to be.  I pray every day for peace once more and hold my breath at every sign and signal, waiting for my world to crumble once more.

I anticipate your grasp, fearing you would once more reach mine so dear. You cannot have my other children. To surrender to you would mean I give up. Giving you that power would render me useless.  This fear I let go.

You took innocence and security with no remorse or regard.  You stole health and left chaos in your wake.  Thinking you left total destruction for your own prideful boast; we retaliate by being more than you expected.

Together we all rallied, to fight you and make it known to those around.  You are a taker, not one gift do you give.  Refusing to become less, we will strive to be more.  Coming together as a family your threats we face as one.

She took this journey with grace and dignity; never giving way to your cruel intentions.  She wins today, tomorrow and forever; because she never ever will surrender.  Surrounded with love, knowledge and support…you cannot have what is not yours.  So until there is a cure, it’s me you must fight. A mother once scorned, her children to protect.

Ever endearing.

I have to say that I always am thinking about my 3 (non-diabetic) children.  They make me stop and realize how strong they are on a daily basis.  It is hard being a diabetic, it is hard being a parent to a type 1 diabetic, and I can only imagine how hard it is to be a sibling to a type 1 diabetic.  They are strong spirits for sure.

What made me think to write on this subject was last night.  When I put the children to bed last night, they were all in their own beds.  Kinz (T1D, 11), Jared (non-D, 9), Chloe (non-D, 2), and Mason (non-D, 3 months).  They were snuggled in their own beds, in their own rooms…off to dreamland.  I got up to check sis (Kinz) at 12, all is well.  Everyone in their own bed. She was 80 (wayyyyy toooooo lowwww for night time…so we stay up for a quick correction).  Go back down at 1230…all is well.  Check at 3, all is well with everyone, BG in great range. One. Happy. Momma.  Up at 4 from pump alarming (no worries…just pump letting me know the battery is about to crap out!) so we fix that.  A pretty calm night.  We like calm nights.  The I go to wake the older kids up for school at 6.  And what do you know, Jared is at the foot of Kinzie’s bed…sleeping away.  Taking watch.  Her pump alarming woke him up and after she went back to bed he felt he needed to be with his sister and watch over.

Warms my heart knowing that my son is so aware, that he is so loving, caring and that he takes his job as brother serious.  He adores his big sister.  He hurts when she hurts.  It also saddens me at the same time that it has to be that way.  What a huge responsibility.  I have told him over and over that I can do it, he doesn’t need to worry; but he does and continues to be ever so vigilant…his sisters keeper. He has never been asked to do what he does…he just does it.  Day one home from the hospital he decided that was his role, how he will cope and where he is needed.  That boy was only 8 years old, how in tune. I stand in awe of his perseverance, he changes the way I think and act. What a blessing he is. How I got so lucky to be blessed with such great kids, I will never know.  They are amazing people.

He is quick to defend and protect.  His small actions make such a huge imprint on our hearts.  If someone see Kinzie’s pump infusion set and cord on her arm and stare…he jumps to the rescue afraid their stares and actions will hurt his sister.  If another child asks why Kinzie is doing what she is doing he steps up and tells them why, and how she has to do what she does because she is a type 1.  He knows more about type 1 than most people do, ever.  If someone makes a rude comment or jesture…it lights a fury in him (and this being my gentle hearted child, never aggressive).  He doesn’t tolerate ignorance, he promotes education and is already being an advocate for his big sister.  He does an amazing job.  He is an amazing boy.

Chloe, being all of 2, is such a sponge.  She loves her big sister and adores everything she does.  Chloe gets Kinzie’s disease….and she is just two.  She knows what the pump is, the glucometer, blood sugar, carbs, etc.  Her vocabulary concerning type 1 just shocks me.  She is a brave little girl.  When we do set changes for the pump, Chloe has to be involved.  When we are counting carbs, cooking, checking blood glucose…Chloe has to be involved. As she watches me change an infusion set, she always responds with “Oh poor Sis-sis.  Her medicine will help.” and offers a quick kiss to help Kinzie.  She gets at just age two, that sometimes momma has to put her entire attention on Kinzie.  Chloe is demanding…but knows when it comes to Sis-sis, if mom is treating her, checking her, or doing what needs to be done, it is necessary and doesn’t demand attention, doesn’t seek attention.  She gets it, she is so precious.

Our baby, I am sure has no clue why we do what we do yet.  He came into our family like it is now, after we had to redefine everything…this will be all that he ever knows.  His attitude is so perfect, I know he came into our family prepared.  Knowing our family needs, worries and fears.  He is such an awesome blessing.  I feel sad that I cannot alway give him my entire attention.  I feel sad that he and Chloe sometimes are not center of attention, or that they can tell when mom is upset or Kinzie is worried.  I feel sad that at such tender ages, it affects them too. And I feel sad that Kinzie feels like it is her fault at times.  No.  It isn’t…it is Diabetes fault.

I recognize the sacrifices all my kids have to make, how much they have to grow up and how much they take on every day.  Their dedication to Kinzie is so amazing.  They are patient, understanding, loving and amazing. Now, I am not saying that they are always like this, but when it comes to Kinz, when it comes to type 1…they get it.  They step up to the plate and do what it takes.  They are soldiers. When Kinz was in the hospital…I made the decision this was our disease; but I never had to tell them that.  I never had to explain.  They just knew.  They know the needs and they sacrifice.

Being a sibling brings so much responsibility into their lives, compassion, and understanding.  And it breaks my heart that they and Kinzie all have to go through this.  If only I could solve it all…because that is what we moms do…we fix things.  We solve problems, we brainstorm for solutions.  Sadly, there isn’t a solution for this.  There isn’t a ‘fix-it and forget it’ technique.  What I can do is trying to always have in the back of my mind that they are affected too.  That they carry the burden too, and that they have to sacrifice so much too. They matter too. I try to make each moment count (and that is hard…I fail often). I try to recognize what they do and let them know I see it and appreciate it and that I think they are special, amazing, intelligent children…such a gift.  Because of them I am stronger, because of them I have so much more love, because of them I try harder, because of them I keep an opened mind. Because of them, I continue to fight.  I will not stop.  Until there is a cure, I will dedicate my life to this disease.  Until I take my last breath I will fight for my family.

I also think about what the people around us go through. They know when I worry, they know when she is sick, they know.  They know, and refuse to forget. Type 1 hasn’t just affected me.  It has affected our entire circle of support.  My parents can’t just grab her and go like they use to.  We can’t just have eat outs when ever, it has to be planned.  My nephews can’t just ask to play in the evening because we are eating dinner, correcting a low/high (and after that I have to shift my focus to homework), our every minute is filled with preoccupation.  Her aunt and uncles share my fears and worry like it is their own.  They live it with us because they are affected by it. They see it.  Her teachers and school have to share my responsibility when she is with them, there isn’t a choice.  Kinzie’s best friends carries guilt that Kinzie has diabetes, that Kinzie goes through this (survivors guilt).  She calls and checks on Kinzie when she is absent, when we have a doctor appointment, when Kinzie has to go home early from school.  What happens to Kinzie rearranges everyone’s life in our circle of support.  They, too, carry this with them.

My nephew (12) recently said that if it weren’t for Kinzie, he wouldn’t really care about diabetes because he wouldn’t ever really know about it…it wouldn’t affect him.  He said because he loves Kinzie and worries about her and sees her struggles, diabetes has become important to him.  He wants to learn more, and does.  Because of Kinzie getting diagnosed, it opened an information highway for a young man…because of this he chooses to learn more and do more.  His little brother wants to be a scientist when he grows up…he wants to find a cure for diabetes.  He wants to help Kinzie.  Because of type 1, these young boys think about things bigger than them.  Because what they have experienced it has changed the way they think.  They have been exposed to so much more than many kids their age do.

Chronic illnesses leave a huge impact on everyone that comes in contact. You can’t know and not care.  You cannot witness and not hurt.  You cannot walk next to it and not want to carry it.  Chronic illnesses change the way you approach life, whether you have the chronic illness, know someone who does, or have seen it from a distance.  It is the nature of the disease.  Because of type 1 intruding on my family we are forever changed.  Good and bad.  It brings a new light into our life.  We simply cannot ignore it. The circle of support around us knowing isn’t enough.  The world needs to know, the world needs to see the complete picture.  Invisible disease are met with such ignorance and cold hearts.  I urge everyone to educate yourself and those around you.  Just because Kinzie doesn’t look sick doesn’t mean she isn’t…diabetes is very much raging war inside her little body.  Be aware that EVERYONE around Kinzie (and those with chronic illnesses) are affected, it changes them too.  They all share the burdens, struggles, fear, trials and triumphs.

 

Smallest accomplishments move the biggest mountains…

Coming home from Kinzie’s dance competition, I was thinking about where we are now, who we are, and where we use to be and who we were (if that even makes sense). We are completely different people…sometimes i feel like I don’t even recognize myself (don’t even know if that is good or bad!).

If you would have known me 2 years ago, you would have thought that that person and the person I am now were two completely different people.  I have to be honest and admit  that life has changed me. Some for the good, some for the bad. I am a little more of a neglecting friend (not that I set out to be one, but because I get consumed by just our daily life…still trying to completely find balance).  I forget birthdays, I don’t visit with my friends as often, call or text them like I should….not because I don’t think of them or because I don’t want to. I do, I love them dearly…but life is just different.  I am greedy, the few spare minutes I get that isn’t consumed with diabetes, kids, or house I take to soak in the tub.  It’s true…me time, every day has pretty much boiled down to 15 minutes in the tub…by myself…not having to think about anything.  I have never enjoyed baths, ever.  Thought of sitting in dirty bum water just wasn’t appealing…but now it is my sanctuary!

I am a little less patient to ignorance…there isn’t an excuse to be ignorant.  And frankly, ignorant comments get under my skin at times. I have become sensitive, and dang, it is taxing to be sensitive. I am going to say (and perhaps, it is because I get bitter after hearing it so many times) that I get completely sick of people saying “Oh, she just has diabetes?”  It makes me want to scream…and possibly go on a rampage.  The ignorance! I catch myself biting my tongue not to yell at them to educate themselves before they speak.  Just diabetes? Really? How about watching your child fight every day.  How about not ever really resting.  How about every day and every minute being consumed by diabetes so you can attempt to keep your child in range trying to prevent as much damage to their body as possible…knowing that this disease damages bodies in pretty much every way.  How about fearing every morning that your child may not wake up.  How about fearing your child will pass out or become so lethargic when you aren’t around, and no one knowing how to help her.  How about dealing with ignorance on a daily basis.  How about facing discrimination and fighting for safety for your child all the time.  I could go on for so long with ‘how abouts’…but that makes me bitter.  Sometimes I just need to get that off my chest, sometimes I am bitter.

I have also gotten the “Oh I can’t do what you do…don’t know how you do it.”  Now, I am sure this type of comment is meant as positive and supportive ( I get that, but it happens quite often and I have bitter nasty feeling days).  And some days, when I let it get to me, there are times I just want to blurt out “Oh, you could. Otherwise your only other option would be letting your child die. It isn’t like I chose to do this, I do it out of necessity.”  I would like to think that every parent would do what I do, do do what I do. We do it because we are parents, we do it because we love our children.  We do it, because if we don’t, we wouldn’t have our children here. We do it because we HAVE to…and you would to.  I talk about diabetes all the time, because it is my life, it consumes me. I want to make sure people around me understand, that they get it.  I want to stop the ignorance.  Small things I do help us climb our mountains.  Being an advocate, I enlighten (or try to) all that I can.  Seriously if I could, I would spend hours everyday just stopping people to educate them (literally I get the urge in the most random moments)…that is how passionate I am about this.

Two years ago, I wouldn’t have pictured myself like this; bath loving, friend neglecting, blog writing, sensitive woman.  Funny how life and time changes so many things, right?

If you would have asked me where I thought I would be five years ago, I would have told you a completely different story than what I am telling now; but that’s okay.  I believe that everyone feels that way at one time or another.  When Kinz was diagnosed she had a period where she was grieving…angry, sad, confused, lost, denial…you name it, she was experiencing it.  Anything she once loved, she hated.  She had been dancing for 1 1/2 and loved every minute of it, and all the sudden she just didn’t want to do anything anymore.  It broke my heart…I felt like my daughter was losing her passion.  One of the toughest things as parents is letting your children quit anything they have obligated themselves to (or at least for me it is).  It was such a huge road block and I wasn’t even sure how to handle it, or what was even the answer.

Before get carried away, I need to express how we have been very fortunate to have a wonderful medical team behind us.  I could never express how truly AMAZING our endocrinologist and our nurse diabetic educator is.  They are amazing people who do an amazing job.  They are awesome!  Their guidance, support and knowledge is like no other, I do not know how we got so lucky.  I remember emailing and having a few telephone conversations with both of them about changes in Kinzie and fears I have.  Being wonderful supporters and people who get what was doing on, they both advised me to give Kinzie that control, let her decide what to hate, what to quit, what to do. They said that she will find herself again, and when she did she would find passion as well.  They assured me it was the right thing to do and I wouldn’t regret it.

Control?! Control was (okay, is) my middle name.  Control is me, it’s mine, for me.  I do not share it well.  I can admit that only because I couldn’t deny it, it is that obvious. I did a lot of soul-searching and had to come to the conclusion that they probably knew more than I did, given that this is what they do for a living, they see it everyday.  So, with a little reservation, I gave Kinzie control.  The only control she had in her life.  I gave her the control to do what she wanted, when she wanted.  Boy, that was hard.  With that control…she quit.  She quit everything.  She hated school, hated reading, hated dancing, hated church activities, hated pretty much everything.  It scared the ever-loving stuffing out of me.  I honestly thought she was going to be bitter and just close herself off, forever.

After about 4 months I saw a glimmer of my ‘old’ Kinzie back.  It was her returning as she was leveling out and learning to accept life.  She was getting healthier, blood glucose back in range, becoming a little more independent in her care, and gaining back the weight she had lost before she was diagnosed.  I saw her passion slowly returning.  Kinzie was finding herself again.  She finally said she missed everything she turned away from.  RELIEF! Life could go on, we could advance from where we were, it was possible to find normalcy. She joined in on life again.

Now about a year later, I look back and think what a pivotal moment it was for her when I gave her what little control she could have.  It made the biggest difference.  She tested limits, boundaries and control. She discovered that even if there weren’t things she could change or control, there were other things completely up to her.  Because of our wonderful medical team (I truly give them the credit) I was getting my daughter back.

Today we had a dance competition.  If you would have asked me after she was diagnosed if I thought we would be here, I would have laughed…because she was done, in that moment she was finished.  What an accomplishment today was.  She is my fighter.  She has fought to get to where she is.  She goes to dance four times a week; fights through illness, ketones, highs, lows…everything to stay caught up and carry her weight.  She refuses to let diabetes be a crutch or an excuse.  When her blood glucose is off, she refuses to just stay home.  When she misses dance she is devastated.  Her dedication just amazes me. She is a fighter, has to fight every day…and she does it so gracefully.  She doesn’t want pity, she wants to be normal.  And she is. Only difference from her and another child is she has to fight just a little harder in the sense to stay healthy and able….but she refuses to allow it to not let her participate.  How this girl fights every day and keeps a smile amazes me.

You might think this isn’t much to be proud of, but for me it is everything.  Today, Kinzie won. Today, she beat diabetes because she has refused to allow it to limit her in any way…today was proof that of that. Anything she wants to do, she does. Small victories like this continually happen, and I rejoice.  It’s the small victories that move our mountains and shape who we are.  There hasn’t been any one obstacle that has stood in her way that she hasn’t been able to tackle.  How amazing is that?!?  She is a walking billboard of hope.  She gives me great hope.

Today, I am one proud mom. Today, even for one day, we beat diabetes.  I can only hope that she continues down this path and lives with passion and fight.  A life altering condition really can bring out the best qualities in people.  I see them magnified in Kinzie more than ever.  They mature quicker, they live reality dealing with adult decisions. It changes their childhood in a sense because they have deal with what most children even are never even exposed to.  Today can simply be described as awesome, plain and simple, it was awesome.

Surrounded with love, this post is for you.

Ready to write another ‘blog’ I was flooded with ideas of things I have wanted to write about (and they just keep coming…I keep thinking I need to keep a notebook nearby to jot down them as they come to me).  I kept trying to write about so many things, but never got very far because my mind kept wandering back to how much I (we, my family and I) feel loved in this exact moment.  Boy, I knew I have always been surrounded by amazing people…but when needed you all sure step right up to the plate.

You amaze me, your love, concern, hope, generosity, thoughts, prayers, shares….well, it overwhelms me.  I cannot fully express my feelings right now for fear that I wouldn’t do them justice.  I only wish that every type 1 diabetic and type 1 diabetic family (or anyone with a chronic illness for that matter) was as surrounded by strength as we are (wouldn’t that be fantastic?).

 

I was talking to my mom yesterday and just started to cry. I couldn’t hold it in because I had this sense of joy and peace flood over me from these past few days. I know that everyone who knows Kinzie loves her (and they love my family too), but was astonished how many people are willing to advocate for her as if she were their child; So many people willing to go through this journey with us.

 I can honestly say that since our journey into type 1 has begun I have not had a single moment where I felt completely alone.  There has always been at least one person there who is willing to sacrifice for us, pray with us, and carry our burdens.  That is amazing considering this journey started well over a year ago. You are the examples I look up to, you kept me going when I thought I couldn’t and let us all know that we matter to you. 

I started looking into D.A.D’s less than a week after Kinzie was diagnosed.  I felt that in a perfect world I would be able to provide her a diabetic alert dog…but knew that this world indeed is not perfect.  I mentioned it to a few people on and off this past year, and not one person offered a negative word.  They were as excited as I was, and knew the blessings it could bring into our lives. They encouraged me to keep looking into it.

I am not sure what sparked the events this past week, but I have felt a surge of passion (or maybe it was just my energy returning after having a baby) jolt through me. I was inspired to just bite the bullet and start my blog…and it was met with such amazing feedback.  I am not sure if it was a continued surge of passion or just the love and support I was feeling from everyone…but I knew we could get Kinzie a D.A.D.  I didn’t question it or give it a second thought.  Goal set…I took off and you all backed me 100%.  I love you, everything you do for us; but you never ask for anything in return. You are inspiring.

I couldn’t sleep last night…it was unfortunate too, because we had a decent blood glucose night with only 2 checks!  Figures! I couldn’t sleep because I couldn’t turn off my mind.  I am so excited for Kinzie and just so completely in awe. When called to task, you listen to where you are needed and step up.  When asked to serve, you serve lovingly and willingly.  When asked to listen, you do, without preoccupation.  How can I ever repay that? I only hope my children witness this and it sets a fire in their hearts to be better people because that is what they have seen, not because someone is watching them.  

In less than a year our family will be blessed with a wonderful gift. It still feels like a dream, something I thought was years and years away, if it was even possible.  I haven’t told Kinzie how soon we will be getting a dog (do please keep that in mind J ) but she knows we are fundraising for a diabetic alert dog and is beyond thrilled. she has been asking for one since the beginning (but chilled with the pleading once I told her they were the price of a small car).  I think about the little things this small creature will be able to do for us and I get goosebumps, because much of what a diabetic alert dog does has to do with my greatest fears when it comes to Kinzie. 

So my friends, instead of an inspiring, funny, informative or witty post I leave you with this one.  Dedicated to you for every little thing you have done and are doing for us.  I acknowledge the sacrifices you make, the prayers you have said and or stories you have shared.  From the depths of my soul I could not thank you enough.  There is no word, act, or praise that could do what you have done for us justice.  Know that when I lay my head down on my pillow at night, you are in my thoughts.  There isn’t a day we do not think of you.  Because of you the impossible is possible.  Much love to you all.

Getting Kinzie her Diabetic Alert Dog

So I created a video to help raise funds to get Kinzie her much needed diabetic alert service dog.  Every share of this video, every penny contributed, every view of this page counts.  Please help us spread the word.  Much love to you all.  Click the link below to view the video and please share it.

http://youtu.be/vR8wyKHNseE