I woke up this morning thinking about a great many things. One happened to be that life does go one, no matter what, it does. There isn’t pausing, re-winding, or going back. It was one of those nights when we have been up (husband and myself) countless times throughout the night to monitor Kinzie (our type 1). She went to bed with a 250 blood glucose reading so we dosed for it, requiring more checks to make sure it corrects and doesn’t go to low. It didn’t correct as nicely as we wanted and do not like her staying that high all night, because, well, think about it….it is high and nighttime is a long time to continue so high. Pretty much our norm. You would be amaze at how well we function half asleep now days, it is an art form. The conversations we have can be rather funny, confusing and nonsense-ical. I might see my husband more at night during our nightly routine than I do during the weekdays…how many people can say that? I cannot remember the last time we slept all night, because we do feel the need to continue with night checks to ensure Kinzie is safe (or as safe as can be.) We have a system down pretty good…we tag team, taking turns. Sometimes it runs smoothly other times our team work is an epic fail. Over all, it does the job and we wake up to an alive happy (but tired) daughter. But that is life, it is our life, and it goes on. It becomes part of our life and you never really think twice about doing what you need to do.
We have a three-month old, who thank goodness has been a good sleeper. We are up more with our T1D than our new baby. He slept through the night since day 1 in the hospital. Lucky? I would like to call it Devine Intervention. We were blessed with a wonderful baby who knew our needs. He may not sleep all that well during the day, so naps for mom is out of the question…but he fits our life perfectly.
For the most part, people who know us and know our life, get it. They get that it is just a part of our life. Somedays I know I look worse, sound worse…as does Kinzie. Somedays it takes its toll more than others. Diabetes doesn’t rest, so we don’t. We just go on. I don’t really waste time thinking about how it use to be anymore or ‘what if’ anymore, because it really is a waste of time…and I have accepted it. But what gets me is when people look at us like we are pathetic, sad or need sympathy. Don’t…we are fine. We are who we are because of…be understanding, empathetic, loving, caring but don’t pity us. We don’t need that. Otherwise the rest of our lives, that would be what we would get. How sad is that? Just be there, learn more and spread awareness. Part of our epic battle is the ignorance people have when it comes to this disease.
Sometimes I want to cry…but everyone has those days. Some days are more restless than others…but everyone has those days. Some days are more complicated and unpredictable than others…again…everyone has those days. Our life is just a bit different. We have to approach it differently, have different priorities, and different actions, but it is us. We are stronger from it, better despite it and closer because of it. As much as one can look at it as a curse, I can look at it as a blessing (finally). Every day I wake up, I can honestly say I am thankful for that day…one more day my daughter is healthy, happy and alive. One more day we have together. One more day we can make memories. One more day we can learn something. One. More. Day. Because life goes on, and we have to too. Positive thinking just seems to be more of a solution to how we live our lives and what we do now will influence how Kinzie lives her life. I don’t want to contribut to her, or any of my children in any negative way. Chlidren live what they learn…and that rests heavily on my shoulders.
For those of you just starting this journey, know that life does go on. A new normal (normal? if there is even ever a real normal) will form and you go on. It doesn’t go away, but you manage, learn and progress. A year ago I would have never thought we would be where we are now. We have bad days, but who doesn’t? Life doesn’t just end, it progresses no matter what you are faced with. You decide how it goes on, you decide what to do with it. You decide…that is key.
So until next time my (one) viewer(s)…let’s be thankful for this day, because we have been blessed with one more day. Good, bad, or neither…it is one more day, and we decide what to do with what we have been given.