One great thing Tuesday. Today I am supposed to write a post about one great thing I do spectacularly when it comes to the fight with T1D. This is a hard one for me, as I really think that I do exactly what any mother does/would in my shoes. I fight. Every single day, we fight. I do not for one minute think that what I do, I do amazingly. I do it well, but nothing stands out. Perhaps I keep my cool completely during crisis or emergent situations…until AFTER.
So I would like to angle this post more towards my little family and what I think they do amazingly every day while we face and fight T1D. Because what they do and how they do it amazes me daily. I admire them.
First, the hubbs. Joey is amazing. What he does amazingly well is be receptive. Receptive…that word doesn’t look as powerful as you might think or what he deserves. But when you really stop and think about it, being receptive is an AMAZING thing. The meaning of receptive is willing to accept; ready and willing to accept something such as new ideas; quick to learn. And that is Joey. He is receptive to any changes I may make in our regimen. He is quick to learn our changes, accept them and act upon them. He is receptive when it comes to caring for Kinzie while I am away for short periods…without such a receptive husband, my job would be 1,000 times harder. I love and adore him. I love his flexibility and receptiveness. It takes a special person to be completely receptive all of the time, and he does it amazingly well. Joey, I love you to the moon and back, you literally are my spine. You hold me up, give me direction, and receive everything diabetes and I may throw at you.
Next, of course, would be Kinzie. What she does well is anything someone may think/say she can’t do. She is completely full of determination and strength. Too many days of dance? She wants to add one more plus gymnastics. Too low to go to practice? So she goes, eating and drinking, and testing continuously. Face this battle every single day gracefully…who can do that? If ever there were a doubt, Kinzie tackles that doubt and banishes its presence away. She is a fierce girl with a mission to succeed…and succeed without special allowances. She wants to try just as hard as the next girl standing by her. She doesn’t want a hand out. She doesn’t make excuses. She doesn’t use T1D as a crutch. I have noticed since our journey began…this inner strength has come out with a vengeance. This quiet little girl has become a force to be reckoned with. The energy it takes just watching her is crazy. She amazes me, she inspires me, and she pushes me. She never quits and doesn’t allow diabetes to really ever tell her NO or create un-crossable boundaries…she is always finding a way through those boundaries. She is a very creative fighter.
Next, of course would be Jared. I think perhaps T1D has been most unfair to Kinzie and Jared. They knew a long and good life before/without it. They loved life without it, so T1D brings dramatic changes at every stage for them. I hate that about T1D; no matter how hard you try; it does bring major changes to your life…but Jared takes it with a grain of salt and carries on. He truly is his sister’s keeper. He loves Kinzie with everything he is. He adores her and has taken the role of being brother to a new extreme. Sleeping at the foot of her bed, putting her and diabetes in his prayers, thoughts and deeds daily. If Kinzie can’t, Jared won’t. He gets it, he understands; he may not like it…but he stands strong.
He can be so mad at Kinzie…she could have been the biggest jerk to him seconds before; but as soon as something changes and she needs him, he drops it all and is there and doesn’t leave her side until she is safe again. He doesn’t question it, doesn’t hold on to ill feelings…he just trudges through the battle all the time full speed ahead. He literally tackles obstacles that not very many adults have to. His reality is hitting him more and more every day. He gets his sister’s body is in a fight for its life every day. He gets that this disease isn’t fair and he gets how serious it is. He steps up to the plate when he needs to and makes grown up decisions that save Kinzie’s life. If they are playing and she is low, he runs and gets me. If she is crashing, he is there helping out; and not like a 9-year-old boy…like a keeper, making grown up decisions and doing grown up actions. I cannot even begin to imagine the pressure he puts himself under, but he does it without being told, he does it because he unconditionally loves his big sister. I can honestly say, if he could, he would take it from her. I love my teddy bear…I love his heart, his soul, his love. He is a strong compassionate little boy. I am proud of him beyond words.
Of course this post wouldn’t be the same without mentioning our little ball of fire Chloe. She is 2 and aware of her life. Her vocabulary is large and entails of words like glucometer, ketones, endocrinologist, blood glucose, counting carbohydrates, and so much more. She is a wise little girl, who really doesn’t remember life without T1D in it, and perhaps, in a way I am thankful for that. The thoughts of before cannot dwell here, and that can be a breath of fresh air. She knows when mommy needs to attend to Kinzie and joins right in, never really getting in the way. And anyone who knows Chloe, knows that she likes to be center of attention and all decision-making, but makes acceptation when it comes to life with T1D. She is strong, vibrant, joyful and smart. She makes this journey so much more bare-able and fun. She carries the light for us when darkness is coming in. She has a big job for a 2-year-old. Our family wouldn’t be the same with out her.
Mason…well, is a baby. His life has never seen any different. He came into our family fitting so perfectly and knowing our needs. Sleeping all night, knowing our attention needs to be on Kinzie at night. He is pretty content and loving and happy, which makes my job as a pancreas a little easier doing it with 4 kids. T1D, 4 kids (toddler and baby) can bring its challenges…but somehow our little combination just works. I am so thankful it does.
There isn’t one thing I contribute is the result because of what I do. I am able to do what I do and be the pancreas I am because of those who surround me and what they allow me to do. I am very much a lucky woman…and in no way could I ever take the credit for the abilities I have been given without first acknowledging the support I have that allows me to take the steps and evolve like I do every single day in this journey we are weaving. 5 years ago I would have never imagined this to be my life…but it is and I am okay with that. I am here with some quiet extraordinary people who allow me to simply bask in their greatness and hang on tight. I love my family and our journey…the good, the bad, the ugly. We face it for a reason, and one day it will all make sense. Until then, we will band together and apply our strengths, lift each other up, and evolve in order to continue down the path we were given. In honor of all those who fight T1D (or even T2D or any chronic illness or major challenge), you are not alone, and I admire your fight and acknowledge your battle isn’t an easy one.