Moments of stillness.
Ever have those moments where time just stands still and all you can think of is how perfect that exact moment is? With November being Diabetes awareness month I find it fitting to have one of those moments tonight…T1D and all…our moments of stillness are still perfect moments. For the past few days Kinzie has been having random lows which need major basal decreases and additional corrections and major fluctuations (more than normal…so imagine crazy). Elvis has been on them from the beginning and just never quits. We think it is correcting, go about our business, and he lets us know we are wrong. We love him, he is perfection.
Today was a long day, as we are preparing for our first dance competition of the season. We are running errands, sorting uniforms, getting forms signed, sending out papers, reminding every one of all the details, duet practice, team practice, last-minute run to Walmart (11 at night).
We get home from this crazy hectic day and baby and daddy are asleep. Jared and Chloe spent the night with their cousins so it is just me and Kinzie awake in the house (cat and normal pet/dog asleep with daddy too). We are preparing for the night by changing, checking BG, taking Elvis potty, gathering night supplies and changing infusion set since the cartridge in the pump wouldn’t have enough insulin to make it through the night.
In the process of changing the pump Kinzie says “Well, it’s November again.” And I didn’t think much of it not knowing what she meant. I just replied with a “Yep.” While I was filling the new cartridge with insulin and she was rewinding the old cartridge in the pump. She then says “Funny how November means something different to me this year. It means more than just a month that contains a holiday.” And by now I am catching on to what she is meaning…funny, because she is so right. November is the month my husband, dad and son were born; but it also means more than that. November is a month we honor T1D, and we educate on diabetes. It is the month we step out, recognize those living with this disease and those affected by it as well.
So I ask Kinzie “what do you think about November?” She tells me “I think it is pretty awesome that I can say this is my 3rd November that I have lived with diabetes….mom, I lived with it.”
You know what Kinz? You have, you have lived with diabetes and honored yourself in the ways you carry yourself, care for yourself, stand up for yourself and all the obstacles you have encountered and overcame. Wow.
Yes, 3rd November we have lived with diabetes and survived.
In that moment I was thrilled to be her mother (I am always thrilled, I love my kids) but some moments stand out, and this was one of them. Living with diabetes is a game changer. It doesn’t play by the rules, there is no manual, there is no time out, there is no ‘free parking’….diabetes is complex, ever-changing and rule-breaking. But we have, we have LIVED with diabetes for 3 Novembers’ and this November I am even more proud to share our story, educate and be proud that no matter what has been thrown at us, we are still excited to see another November come our way.
Perspective….it is all about perspective. In that moment, my world stood still, it felt perfect, peaceful in a way I couldn’t describe (and nothing about T1D is ever peaceful). I was proud that my daughter had a great perspective on this life we are living. Diabetes cannot even change her perspective on life, because she refuses to just give up…ever. She keeps going; she grows, she changes, she accepts and she loves just as life is.